The Top 10 Records I Downloaded Because Of Their Names (2008)

By Jean "Fuck You" Williams

Musicblogs are awesome.. it seems like the availablity of free hosting spacing is returning the internet to the old-days Wild West that it used to be in the late 90's... it's become part of my morning ritual to check a few blogs I like and download a few new records and listen to them throughout the day. I have, while doing this, stumbled across a few records whose names compelled me to download them. Sometimes this leads to great discoveries, sometimes this leads to crushing disappointment. The albums weren't all good. They were mostly un-good. One constant is that their names were great. And because nothing could be more fascinating to you than me, here's a list of them:

10. Gay for Johnny Depp - The Politics of Cruelty

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: Angry gay people or perhaps straight people who think gayness is funny, but are still angry. Definitely males either way.

What It Actually Sounded Like: Hard to determine; but gayness appears to be ironic rather than actual.

09. Asian Kung Fu Generation - World World World

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: More power-pop bullshit.. but I had to be sure.

What It Actually Sounded Like: I wish I could un-hear this.

08. Videohippos - Unbeast The Leash

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: Hyperactive and Japanese.

What It Actually Sounded Like: Wrong again. I love this record though. Synths and distorted guitars and awesome drumming but really hopeful sounding... on helium as well.

07. My America Is Watching Tigers Die - Narratives

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: Jerkoff artrock full of weltschmertz

What It Actually Sounded Like: I was wrong. It's total screaming heroin metal. I kind of like it. Nothing jerkoffy about it, that's for sure.

06. 65 Days of Static - The Fall Of Math

What I Imagine This Record To Sound Like: Annoying noise

What It Actually Sounded Like: Awesome! Squarepusher meets Do Make Say Think. Highly recommended.

05. The Masters of Ceremony - Sexy (downloaded because it had a track called "Yellow Panties")

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: Smooth Sex Jams

What It Actually Sounded Like: The soundtrack to the feature film "House Party". Your mileage may vary.

04. Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong - Lucio Starts Fires

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: Pop rock / Pots and pans falling down the stairs

What It Actually Sounded Like: Jangly Pavement

Listening Notes: To fully appreciate the awesomeness of this name, say "Jing Jang Jong" out loud. I would advise you not to do this around Asians however.

03. Portugal, The Man - It's Complicated Being A Wizard

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: I have to admit I didn't really care what this sounded like. The awesome band name coupled with a title that I am both amused by and can TOTALLY relate to made this a necessary download.

What It Actually Sounded Like: Bright Eyes meets Xiu Xiu; so.. pale dudes crying on a Yamaha DX-7 inbetween guitar lessons. In a good way; sorta.

02. Ham Sandiwch - Carry The Meek

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: The Best Thing In The World

What It Actually Sounded Like: EXACTLY AS I SUSPECTED

01. I Shit On Your Face - Anal Barbeque

What I Imagined This Record To Sound Like: Sludge Metal about coprophagia and baby-killing

What It Actually Sounded Like: I was too scared to download this; if someone has the guts, let me know. As it stands, I'm content to know a record with this name exists, full stop.